Completely 100% true Britney facts tbh

Britney sleeps with a night light. Not because Britney is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Britney.

Britney beat the Sun in a staring contest.

Superman owns a pair of Britney pajamas.

Britney can hold her breath for nine years.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Britney allows to live.

Britney doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

Britney counted to infinity - twice.

The Bible was originally titled "Britney and Friends"

There is no such thing as global warming. Britney was cold, so she turned the sun up.

Britney trick-or-treated as herself as a child.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Britney.

Britney is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.

When Britney does push-ups, she does not push herself up. She pushes the Earth down.

Thousands of years ago Britney came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

If you spell Britney "Brittany" on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Britney?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Britney was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

When Britney enters a room, she doesn't turn the lights on, she turns the dark off.